Eugh. Relationships. They’re full of hard work and heart-ache. Why do we ever open ourselves up to another person so fully in the first place?
Apparently there’s a lot to be learnt from them. You have to go through this kind of thing to become the person you’re meant to be and they’re essential to the human existence.
What. A. Drag.
If you’re reeling in heartbreak, have a go at these three steps to finding recovery.
- Invest In Yourself
Your time. Your emotions. Your energy. You deserve your own unconditional love now more than ever. A break-up can be a knock to your self-esteem and this is going to be a hard enough process without beating yourself up over it; you need to be on your own side. You need to keep yourself enthusiastic about the life you’re leading and above all, be productive to stop yourself falling into a pit of depression.
That being said, you have to realise what are ‘constructive investments’. There are treats that have their place within a break-up, such as buying yourself a heap of comfort food. In the short-term this works, but when that sugar crash hits you’re going to be £3 down and feel guilty for eating an entire pack of biscuits (my personal binge food of choice). So focus on the long-term and try to pick healthy treats.
Exercise is the obvious choice. For those of you who tend to overlook your mental well-being, meditation is an excellent and equally valid option. Taking up a new hobby or rediscovering an old one will help you solidify your identity again. Try to restore your connections with others and see more of people you didn’t necessarily have time for while in the relationship. Do things you truly love and remind yourself of all the marvellous things you have in your life.
2. Realise What You’ve Learnt
Both from your ex and the break-up. Everything has it’s place and this break-up will too, even if you don’t see it right away. Maybe you’ve established your core values; what you will or won’t look for in a new partner. If you even want a partner. Heck, you’ve decided to become a spinster and adopt all the dogs at your local animal shelter and never look for romantic love again.
On the other hand it doesn’t have to be that drastic, it could just be that your ex loved dogs, made you realise you do too and that’s all you’ve got for now. Which is great. Dogs are awesome.
There are lessons to be learnt in everything and by searching for this, hopefully you will find yourself some kind of resolution.
3. Remember the World Around You
It’s too easy to become self-absorbed throughout a break-up. Your friends and family want to support you, but they can only help you carry your emotional baggage for so long. Life goes on. Not in the sense that everyone has forgotten your heartbreak, or ever should (hence the importance of step 2), but it’s just realistic.
There must have been a lot of love in your relationship at some point and to channel that into hate is unhealthy, so use that love to help the world you live in. Giving is beneficial to your whole community, while also helping you heal. You’ll feel satisfied for having a constructive impact on the world around you. Volunteer. Join an environmental group. Run some errands for your elderly neighbour. Thinking about the outside world widens your perspective and suddenly you find yourself ceasing to ruminate about the break-up. Instead you’re contributing to something more than yourself while building a future that didn’t exist before.
Break-ups can feel chaotic, whichever angle you come at them from. Your experience throughout it will always have an affect on you. Depending on the depth and intensity of the relationship, it will have a huge affect on your character as well. So at the very least, by being proactive with these three steps you’ll feel more in control while the whole situation blows up around you.