As a child, I would always wish to quickly grow into an adult. The word adult meant that I would have my independence, responsibilities, as well as control and support that is involved in the evolution of an adulthood.
So here are the questions running in my mind. When does one turn into an adult? Is it something that is define by age, when you start working or when someone just biologically grow and turn into one? In some country, a person legally become an adult at the age of 18, and some 21 years old. I think it does not matter regardless of how old a person is. What matter most is the mentality. I am sure, whilst growing up, many adults would say to you that there are many responsibilities to handle as an adult and that the best part of life would be a teenager when you don’t have responsibilities and have the least worries towards life. Personally, becoming adult is about your mentality. So, I think it is normal to see someone older or an adult to act or behave in a childish manner. Below are the three mentality that I think you would have or experience before you could call yourself an adult.
- Humanise Your Parents
This is when you stop looking up to and even hero-worshiped your parents and start seeing them with all their strengths and flaws. You stop looking at them as a child would to a superhero. One day, when you least expect it, you realise that your parents make mistakes and have weaknesses just like any ordinary person. You stop putting them up on a pedestal and idealising them. It is when you start to accept them as who they are. By humanising your parents, you alsomean that you start to be empathetic towards them. You understand the sacrifices and the selfishness, the right and the wrong decisions they made. Most of all, you realise that your parents are just normal human being that is neither perfect nor ideal. Once you realise, understand and accept them, you will experience a newfound respect and love for them.
- Personal control and/or power and rationality
As I mention before, hearing the word adult would make you think of power. This means that I would have control in every aspect of my life. I am aware of my mistakes and problems. I take control of how I want to overcome them and that I have the power on how I want to face them. I can complain or cry a river. Throwing tantrums like a child would not solve anything. It is normal to want to vent and to share the problems with someone. These are perfectly fine. But only for a short period. As an adult, I think one should have the power the power and control of their life. As well as having the control over their emotions. I think an adult should have the maturity and rationality to make decisions based on self-interest and moral concerns. They have the power and can take the necessary action on how to resolve their issue. By the end of the day, an adult, to me, would have the independence, rationality to seek the resources and resolve their problems, every action or decisions made is govern by their rationality.
One trait that differentiate an adult from a child I would say would be openness. Egocentrism can often be observed in a child and a teenager. They are not open to any criticisms or feedback. I think an adult should be willing to accepts both positive and negative feedback or comments. They should be willing to expand their knowledge and self-awareness. This way, they are flexible and is open to new experiences. An adult is not defensive and that they willing to seek out feedbacks and to respond accordingly. They see feedback as a way to improve themselves and that they do not offhandedly disagree with criticism. They are able to analyse and self-inspect and make necessary changes to improve themselves. I think an adult would not blame their own failures on others. Openness can be often be observed in adults who are in a relationship. The willingness to change and improve themselves for their partner or relationship is something that I personally think is very commendable and is not observed in young teenagers yet.
Some people would say that once you have reach the adult age, say 18 years old, you should start behaving responsibly. I think that regardless of how old you are, you should act and behave responsibly except when you are a kid. After all, every action you do or carry out will lead to a consequence that may or may not affect you or the people and friends around you. Hence, if you think that you have these mentality, all I can do here right now is to say to you “Welcome to adulthood! And good luck”.
PS: Dear readers, just because you can call yourself and is a legal age of an adult, please show the respect and love entail to your parents as they have made many sacrifices even before you were born only so that you can lead a better life than they could. 😉