Yes, I am writing this article but it doesn’t mean I am an expert at it. I can be – awkward – at times around people. I am what you call an extroverted introvert but mostly, I am an introvert. Everyone, even the most extroverted person, would need a little help sometimes. So here’s a little help from us:
- Avoid Monologues
I read Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. Out of the many tips he mentioned in the book, the one that stuck with me the most is that people will find you interesting if you get them to talk about themselves. I find it to be true though. I come to realize that I tend to find people interesting when they get me talk about myself. If it works on me, it should work on other people. So start asking them questions! People naturally love talking about themselves and from there, you will find a common ground that you can bond about.
- Ask why, not what
Asking ‘why’ is a great technique when it comes to talking to people, it can lead to a very good value-based conversation. Asking, “what type of law do you practice?” is fairly logical (and a tad bit boring), but asking “why did you chose to go to law school?” is an emotional trigger and will give them permission to tell you more about themselves and is a powerful way to connect.
- Be playful
We don’t have playful conversations anymore! They ask “Where are you from?”, “What do you do?”, “Where do you live?”. Why not change those questions with, “What would you do if you win $1m?”, and follow up that up with “Why?”.